Oh little angels.

No really, I love kids.

When they are out to eat, however, they can be little maniacs, usually enabled by the parents.

I’m sorry.

I know this is touchy material, but this is what really happens in my life, and who am I to keep this in?

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All I know is that when I went out to eat as a kid, I had chicken fingers and fries and I was lucky to have that. This was probably pre-decided by my parents for my picky-self, and the world went on just fine.

Now in my life, Johnny is standing up on the booth seat when I say hello.

First indication that I don’t like how things are being handled.

Now they ask him what he wants to drink.

Kids should learn to make their own decisions, but asking a three-year-old what to drink when there is a stranger hovering, is as successful as getting me to stop complaining.

It just isn’t going to happen, people.

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Then they ask him what he wants to eat.

Pizza? NO

Pasta? NO

Chicken? NO

“Oh dear, I am sorry, he is just so picky, ha.”

I am not laughing.

I am busy.

I have to greet another table, get refills, pick up desserts, and print checks, so I don’t have time to see here and watch your negotiation with a toddler.

Like my dad says, “kids don’t run the show.”

Be a parent and pick what you know the child eats.

I know you’re probably telling me to shut up because I don’t have a child, but 8/10 times, the kid eats two bites and you have me throw the rest away, trust me.

I know kids are cute, but they also don’t belong running around.

I shouldn’t even have to say this, but it is a constant issue.

We are all running around, with trays, plates, and drinks.

When you are laughing at, or ignoring Timmy while he is dancing in the walkway, well it is just dangerous for him and us.

In my sick mind, I almost want him to fall, so you can realize you need to actually take charge of your children sometimes.

Now I am the monster.

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One time, a child went missing in the restaurant.

I know it’s a big and busy place, but this family literally lost him, and my manager was going around telling us to keep an eye out for this little boy.

I am sorry, what?

This isn’t Disney World, how did you lose him?

Not that I agree with it, but the sad thing is, many kids only behave with a tablet or phone in front of them at the table.

If that gets them to be quick and out of my way, then so be it.

I know kids are hard, and going anywhere may be difficult, but at a restaurant, an unruly child affects more than just your mood.

Help us help you, by keeping your child in check.