If you’re not from here, you’re probably confused as to why grown-ass men and women lose their minds when they talk about Snooty the manatee.

I mean, he’s just a manatee, you might say to yourself. All he does is float around and eat cabbage. What’s so special about that?

But everything Snooty does is special, because he’s constantly setting records for his species as the oldest known living manatee. Snooty just turned 68, and his caretakers are throwing a party for him at the South Florida Museum on Saturday from 10 a.m. until 2 p.m. You can go and see his majesty for yourself.

Those of us from Sarasota or Manatee counties each have a special Snooty story. He’s seen countless streams of elementary-schoolers file by his tank, some of whom squeal with delight when the 1,200-pound sea mammal pokes his head above the water’s surface. He’s born witness to weddings held at the South Florida Museum. Local kids write hundreds of birthday cards to the sea cow, which adorn the walls around his aquarium during the special occasion.

I still remember writing my first birthday card to Snooty.

As a 6-year-old, I thought it was important for Snooty to know he was the same age as my dad, and he shouldn’t feel bad for being old (sorry, dad). I drew a gray blob with a smiley face inside, a poor attempt at drawing one of my favorite critters.

I went to the museum with my grandparents and taped my card alongside hundreds of other colorful tributes.

While much about Manatee County has changed since then, Snooty has remained a constant. Watching him do barrel rolls and crunch cabbage is a reminder that even though life can be chaotic, there are still adorable things in the world.

A life goal of mine has been to get close to the mammoth manatee.

That happened on Friday.

Shelby Webb and Snooty smile for the camera.
STAFF PHOTO / RACHEL S. O’HARA

LOOK AT HIS WEEDLE FACE, AND HE PROPPED HIMSELF UP ON THE LEDGE TO SAY HELLO. AND THOSE WHISKERS, OMG OMG OMG OMG.

Sorry, I lost it just thinking about that moment. I’m pretty sure the caretakers and other reporters thought I was crazy. Every time I asked a question and Snooty did something, I would stop and squeal and run over to him and talk to him like a precious sea baby.

One of his caretakers gave him a carrot, and I legitimately screamed as he munched on it.

I cried a little bit.

I told him he was the love of my life, and I was only half-kidding.

Watch what happened when I went to fulfill a life-long dream in this video: