unRavel

Kmart is closing. Shit is cheap.

Attention Kmart shoppers.

The end is near, and shit is cheap.

It’s time to do something you probably haven’t done in eons — actually go to Kmart.

The Sarasota Kmart at Fruitville and Beneva roads is in the final days of its going out of business sale. Store signage indicates we have less than a week before the store closes for good.

Now is the time to get a Hillary Clinton Chia Pet for $11.99 or a Spiderman garden tool for $2.39.

When I popped in on Tuesday the store still had a collection of mismatched toiletries with just a few recognizable brands.

Racks of jeans were marked down to $4 a pair. Toys and gift wrap had been reduced to 60 and 40 percent off, respectively. Fine jewelry (although I’m going to use that term very, very loosely) is marked up to 85 percent off.

If you’ve been wanting to invest in an EasyBake Ovens (you know you want one) or a space heater for the one cold day we have each year — this is your moment.

So farewell Kmart. I can’t imagine you’ll be missed.

And if any Kmart fans out there still exist? The chain still has two stores in Manatee County at 7350 Manatee Ave. W. and 6126 U.S. 301.