Hi how are you, my name is Mar-
“IT’S HER BIRTHDAY”
Oh.
Ok.
“IT’S HER BIRTHDAY WHAT DOES SHE GET?”
A smile and well-wishes from me.
Is that enough?
I know you only came out on your birthday to get something for free, but it doesn’t work like that here.
When you ORDER a dessert, meaning: buy, purchase, PAY FOR, we can decorate that plate and sing to you.
Nothing is free people; I don’t know why I have to say that so much.
There are restaurants that give you a decent free dessert, but you are in the wrong place for that.
“Oh, that’s it?”
Yes. Yes it is.
I love birthdays.
Well, some birthdays.
I understand that a lot of people love to go to dinner and celebrate, you know, make a night of it.
But expecting something for free at a restaurant goes too far. Your friends really should have gotten you a cake.
Re-evaluate your friends.
But when you tell me there are three birthdays at your table. I don’t believe it.
“Oh well her birthday was last month and hers is tomorrow and mine is today.”
Ok, like I said, you’re not getting anything for free.
I will do my best to pretend to care and hope you tip me afterward.
The best is when they whisper it to you. As if it’s the person’s first day alive and didn’t know you were doing that.
So I come up and surprise them with a candle, and they turn red, and sometimes they’re mad.
Sorry, I was forced to do this.
And finding people who aren’t too busy to sing with you on a Friday night isn’t the easiest thing, and most of the time it sounds terrible. We aren’t singers or entertainers. We are sweaty, tired, and trying to make some money.
Courtesy of theodysseyonline.com
I love when it’s a child’s birthday. They get all excited or scared, and it’s funny and cute. I will absolutely care and have a real smile.
But when it’s your 42nd birthday and you just want to try to get something for free, I’m not that excited – sorry.
And when I bring the check and you say “you charged me for my dessert.”
I sure did.
“But it’s my birthday.”
You still have to pay to renew your vehicle registration when it’s your birthday.
You still paid your rent and all your other bills, didn’t you?
Life doesn’t stop or become free because it’s your birthday.
When I got pulled over two days after my birthday last year, I didn’t say, “but it was my birthday this week, I shouldn’t have gotten a ticket.”
Especially when you’re an “adult” you should realize that. I use the term adult loosely because most adults become children when they go out to eat.
Happy birthday.