Server Chronicles: Crossing the Line

There is a distance between a server and guests, for a reason.

I am at work, trying to be professional, trying to serve people the best I can.


Of course I joke around and will engage in conversation, within reason.

If a table is really open and chatty, then I will bounce off that.


Sometimes though, people cross the line, and I don’t get it.

I don’t ask strangers personal questions or touch them, no matter how friendly things may seem.


I don’t know what sign I have on my forehead that says, “Please bother me,” but I would like it removed.

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Wearing dark lipstick is kind of my “thing,” if you will.

I have tables compliment it, and it is usually a conversation-starter.

Then I have people that say “are you gothic?”

Um, no, sir at table 23, I am not.


If I was, why is that your business, or your right to ask me that?!

I just brought you an unsweet tea, and somehow we are in a place where you think I wear pants with chains on them and probably worship the devil or something.

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I just don’t see how it is appropriate to ask any stranger a question like that, especially someone serving your food.


It is worse when people touch you.

Even if they don’t mean it offensively, I still don’t find it appropriate.

Don’t touch my hand.

Don’t grab my arm.

Don’t let your kid pull pens out of my apron.

Hands and feet to yourself!

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I will go find your elementary school teachers and ask if they taught you that because they should have.


If you want a more “personal” dining experience, they have special phone numbers you call for that.

If you know what I mean.


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At a casual-dining restaurant, we are here to get you in and get you out, in a timely manner.

Yes, I want you to have a nice time, but asking: my age, where I am from, why I wear dark lipstick, if I have children, what my “real” job is, and touching me, is something that I don’t think adds to your experience.


Some of my favorite line-crossers:

“I don’t see a ring on your finger, why aren’t you married?”

“Are you even old enough to serve alcohol?”

“Your uniform is ugly.”

^ My personal favorite.

Thank you for making me feel even worse about it.


“Is that your natural hair color?”

“Don’t you have a man to take care of you?”

“Did you go to college?”


Once again, I am a professional order-taker that is good with people, that is it.

Most of the guests don’t remember our names anyway, so let’s keep it that way, and keep it distant.

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