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Diary of a fitness junkie: The emotional rollercoaster of not being able to exercise

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A few of weeks ago, on my first day visiting my family in Wisconsin, I woke with a start (still on Eastern Time) and bounded out the door to the gym. As I excitedly made up a series of 5 tabatta workouts including battle ropes, V-ups, and box jumps, I spotted the sled. After spotting the foreign weight training tool I decided to make it one of the tabatta workouts.

What can I say, I was excited to be home, and am a little wild when I get in the gym.

When I woke up 3 days later in my friend’s guest room in Chicago, my back was incensed in pain. I flew home, and for the first time in 4 years (since my ACL injury), I was too incapacitated to workout. Oh, the horror. The nature of the beast(mode).

Freaking Out

By day 3 of no gym, it hit me like a sled with too much weight on it (this is also believed to be the actual cause of injury). I lost my shit. I cried. I didn’t realize what a habit daily exercise had become.

I longed for the sweet sweet rush of endorphins after a sweat sesh. The post-workout spring in my step was gone.

Searching for Answers

I saw a massage therapist who diagnosed the injury, which provided relief. The uncertainty, the not knowing what was wrong with me was almost as disconcerting as the pain itself. It was my right QL muscle group. I Googled it and felt better already.

Feeling Validated

When the therapist touched my back, he said my muscles were “jumping.” I felt relieved that he could validate my pain. I realized that by feeling understood, it provided comfort, easing my worry despite the spasaming injury.

Reassurance and Relaxation

I left the massage feeling confident that I would heal in time. I started enjoying the rest days away from the gym. Having extra time and energy was a new twist on my habit of rushing from here to there to pack my day full of activity.

 

The 7 Day Itch

After not working out for a week, I started to get antsy. I decided to play tennis but after 45 minutes I felt my neck and back start to stiffen so I stopped. The next day I went to the gym. One of the trainers asked me if I was all right and told me that I “looked down”. “I am sure I do” I said. “I haven’t worked out in over a week…I miss sweating.”

That day I took my first yoga class in nearly a year. It felt fantastic to stretch my stiff muscles. I took the next day off to try and let my body calm down.

Back At It

By the 10th day I went to one of my favorite classes at the gym – High Intensity Interval Training. On a scale of 1-10, I gave it about a 6 effort. I normally give it a 12. It felt weird, but right, not to push it. What helped the most were my thoughtful gym friends asking where I had been, and if I was okay.

It felt good to be missed and even better to be back. I told my trainer that once I was 100% I wanted to try the sled, with the appropriate amount of weight and correct form. The spring in my step is back. But I wonder if it is from the post-exercise endorphins or from feeling grateful to have a part of my day back that I inadvertently nearly took away from myself.

Overtraining or over exerting yourself is no joke. Find a balance; a way to listen to your body and yourself.

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